one million phallic forces

[Kalyope]

Wow. This leaves me feeling kind of dirty. It's very graphic, but doesn't go over the top. You walked that fine line very well. My only suggestion here is to get rid of your participles. Use the stronger form of the verb. Those -ings weaken the power of your lines. Example:

imagine one million phallic forces
thrust into her. surge like a chorus,
but it?s her falsetto that rings, reminds
me our endless duos devour the night.

Your imagery and detail are both amazing, yet again.

[machinery]

imagine one million phallic forces
thrusting into her. surging like a chorus,
but it?s her falsetto ringing, reminding
me our endless duos devouring the night.

imagine her face contorting, orgasm
projecting, mouth arcing like a perfect
put-out from left field. imagine eyes
rolling white and sheets clenching tight.

imagine torsos tangling in promiscuous
tangos, men exploring her amazing terrain.
copious fingers crawl and snatch the small
of her back as her head tilts in delight.

imagine her post-coital behavior, body
humming, bottom lip bit, her wide eyes
wanting for these foreign forces to feel
acceptable, but fucking is so contrite.

<font color="#00FF00" size="1">[ February 18, 2007 12:42 PM: Message edited by: machinery ]</font>

[Hannibal]

The end of this one also has a lot of 'pop' to it.

Very detailed. I don't really know what to say that could improve this one from where it currently is.